A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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