he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it was like eating out sand paper
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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