Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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