I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
