That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
