Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
