I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
