OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
