So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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