He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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