i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
