Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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