Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize