Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
