wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
