woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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