she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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