i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
