roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
