You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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