I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
try to milk me bitch
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
