Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
