he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
