porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
