the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
