For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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