I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
