ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
