Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
