Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
