It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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