I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
