got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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