i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
