you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
