If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
