He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is Oprah even human
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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