I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm gonna fight the coyote