Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
