Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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