i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.