Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.

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  (540): I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy. http://tfl.nu/o69i
  Replies (48) Good night (3520) Bad night (1316)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money

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  (570): I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money http://tfl.nu/ayme
  Replies (40) Good night (4184) Bad night (864)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward

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  (541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward http://tfl.nu/dpap
  Replies (360) Good night (60022) Bad night (7401)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.

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  (978): dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina. http://tfl.nu/gwo8
  Replies (59) Good night (5149) Bad night (4716)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.

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  (618): Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window. http://tfl.nu/h7i3
  Replies (22) Good night (1169) Bad night (4078)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week

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  (813): peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week http://tfl.nu/lvga
  Replies (9) Good night (2339) Bad night (1198)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.

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  (815): This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro. http://tfl.nu/5jtw
  Replies (8) Good night (3517) Bad night (1264)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing

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  (778): It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing http://tfl.nu/h5t5
  Replies (5) Good night (620) Bad night (912)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.

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  (775): Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected. http://tfl.nu/2ksx
  Replies (6) Good night (366) Bad night (2095)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts

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  (812): Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts http://tfl.nu/1kvs
  Replies (11) Good night (625) Bad night (1380)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.

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  (609): I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding. http://tfl.nu/8ezs
  Replies (11) Good night (1079) Bad night (341)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.

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  (513): I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate. http://tfl.nu/7b4m
  Replies (1) Good night (780) Bad night (246)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.

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  (303): Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash. http://tfl.nu/958z
  Replies (5) Good night (725) Bad night (248)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.

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  (540): I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures. http://tfl.nu/3k48
  Replies (2) Good night (277) Bad night (192)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  It's 4 in the afternoon........

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  (860): Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong (1-860): It's 4 in the afternoon........ http://tfl.nu/ra1k
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (220)

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