I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.