I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.