i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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