just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .