Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
