spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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