i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
