I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
