just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
