Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
