god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
