Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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