he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
