i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
