I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
