He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
