You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
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I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
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A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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