Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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