She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
