Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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