Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
