I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Randomize
