you guys were way drunker than both of me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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