We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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